22 8 / 2014
"I just did an arc with Warren Ellis — and no one else on the planet could get away with this, because I think this is like harassment? — But Warren felt like there was a depiction of Spider-Woman where it looked like her waist perhaps didn’t contain any internal organs. And he suggested very quietly … ‘You should fix that, or else I will come to your house and nail your feet to the floor and set your house on fire.’ … And it totally got fixed!"
22 8 / 2014
Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.
GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”
The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.
- When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
- Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
- Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
- Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
- Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
- Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
- The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.
[hands the DM a flask under the table]
22 8 / 2014
if u askin about my bra size u better be planning on takin ur ass down to Victoria’s Secret to buy me some nice bras
If someone asks my bra size and promptly goes somewhere to buy me some nice bras, I will fucking follow them to the ends of the earth saying Please, where is this place, do you have any idea how much of a pain it is to find things that fit these fucking Amazonian chest-cudgels can I hire you or some shit be my bra-genie?